


glory and gore go hand in hand

by songsofthesea



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: AU, Fake AH Crew, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 16:39:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14501181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songsofthesea/pseuds/songsofthesea
Summary: A non-chronological series of 100-500 word drabbles surrounding the Fake AH Crew and their reckless, idiotic, dangerous, andfucking funadventures.ii. The feds had upped their presence in Los Santos in an attempt to infiltrate the Fake AH Crew. Red and blue lights illuminated all streets, undercover cops were placed on every corner, and Geoff had decided it was time to get thefuckout of Dodge — for the time being, at least.





	1. i. hypothetical questions

**Author's Note:**

> hiya! i've already posted this before but i gave up on it after chapter 1 so here i am, attempting to do it again!
> 
> i know fahc!au's are kinda overdone, but oh well. it's my favourite au by far and i reckon this'll be a fun lil series. i have a few ideas/storylines thought out, but head over to my (brand spankin' and pretty bare) tumblr [buckylmao](http://www.buckylmao.tumblr.com) and give me some prompts through messages!
> 
> i'll add warnings at the start of any chapters that may have triggering/uncomfortable content.
> 
> hope ya enjoy! x

"Would you rather staple your bellend to a ceiling fan every night before you to go sleep, or never have sex again?"

The urge to roll his eyes tempted Ryan, but he was focused.

The barrel of his sniper had been balanced perfectly atop the car park's cement wall for the past hour, waiting for the lawyer to exit the restaurant across the street. Geoff had specifically sent him to 'take care of' the man who could send half of their (much needed) allies to prison, and he wasn't going to let Gavin and his hypothetical questions distract him.

Why Geoff had chosen tonight to send the Brit along to fine-tune his sniping skills would eternally confuse Ryan. Their boss knew better than anyone how much of a distraction Gavin could be, having pretty much raised the boy.

 _'Maybe he's punishing me,'_ he considered with a silent scoff, _'for something I haven't even done yet.'_

"Ryyyyan," Gavin whined, nudging the older man in the ribs. "You've got to indulge me if I'm being forced to wait out here so long."

This time he _had_ to roll his eyes. However, he wanted to appease Gavin and shut him up so he could concentrate. "How would I even be able to staple my dick to the fan—"

"There he is!"

The sudden movement of Gavin crashing into him in an attempt to point at the bald man that just exited the restaurant knocked his sniper out of position. Ryan recovered quickly, aimed the sniper as best he could, and shot.

The bald man hit the floor in seconds.

Hastily pulling the sniper down by his side as patrons rushed outside to the commotion, Ryan heaved a sigh of relief that the job—as rushed and ugly as it had been—was done.

Gavin laughed nervously as he rested his back against the wall. "Good thing I told you or you might've missed."

The harsh glare Ryan shot at the Brit was hidden beneath his mask as he wondered if Geoff would care if their crew was reduced to five.


	2. ii. hometown glory

The feds had upped their presence in Los Santos in an attempt to infiltrate the Fake AH Crew. Red and blue lights illuminated all streets, undercover cops were placed on every corner, and Geoff had decided it was time to get the _fuck_ out of Dodge — for the time being, at least.

"Where are we going to go?" Jack inquired, shoving bullets and magazines into the duffel bag ahead of him. He'd been wary of the plan, knowing that Los Santos had their eyes on every vehicle entering and leaving the city.

Geoff shrugged, cracking open his third can of Red Bull. "Could dip into Mexico for a bit. There's an arms dealer down there I've wanted to meet."

Dropping the box he was holding on top of the van with a _bang!_ , Ryan glared up at the two. "Can't do Mexico. I have a few outstanding bounties there from some ... miscommunications."

The pause received a knowing glance from the other two. Miscommunications to Ryan could mean anything from stealing to first degree murder.

"Okay," Geoff sighed with a roll of his eyes, "not Mexico, then. Thanks, Ryan."

The blond just shrugged, his smile unapologetic. "Can't say I didn't warn you before you hired me that not many places have pleasant experiences with the Vagabond."

Opening his mouth to reply, Geoff was interrupted by the younger three of their crew as they made their way over to the van. Michael was rummaging through his backpack, Gavin was rubbing at tired eyes, and Jeremy was snacking of a packet of chips. A smile curled onto his face. "Hey, Michael. What's New Jersey like?"

The question caught Michael by surprise, looking up from his bag with a raised eyebrow. "Jersey? It's a fuckin' shithole with a whole bunch of tanned people."

"How's it gonna be for laying low? And maybe robbing a few convenience stores here and there?"

The others were proceeding to pile into the van. Jeremy and Ryan squeezed into the back while Jack and Gavin argued over who would sit in the passenger seat.

("I called shotgun, Jack!"

"I helped load up the van _all_ afternoon while you slept. I don't think that's fair!"

Jack ended up winning.)

"It's alright, I guess," came Michael's response as he slung his bag into the car. "It's no Los Santos but I got my start up there."

That was all Geoff needed as he hopped over to the driver's side, calling out, "Buckle up, idiots — Jersey's a ways away."

Michael tried to hide the apprehension building up in his stomach as he climbed onto a seat, sliding the door shut behind him. It'd been almost a decade since he'd left New Jersey and he hadn't cared for returning. "Now we'll find out if Jeremy's taller than Snooki," he joked, the sounds of his boyfriends' laughter (and Jeremy's groan) helping to soothe the anxiety inside.

As the van began to move, all he could think was, ' _Home, sweet home.'_


End file.
